May 21, 2010 in Acceptance, Balance, Compassion, Grief, Healing, Intuition, Knowledge, Love, Perception, Purpose, Rainbow Bridge Coaching and Healing, Spiritual Connection, Thought, Understanding, Wisdom
In the parents grief support group I attended after I lost my son there was often talk of strange occurrences that seemed to happen to not all but many of the parents . By strange occurrences I mean things out of the normal range that are unexplainable and that seem to follow or surround the death of their children. The interesting thing about the discussions is that not one of the parents was spooked by the occurrences nor thought they were evil, witchy, satanic, or otherwise came from or led to anything bad. In fact most parents seemed heartened by them feeling their child was connecting to them in some way as if they were trying to reassure them that they were OK.
There is one couple that I met who see butterflies in the strangest places and at the strangest times. In fact they have finally built a butterfly flower garden in their backyard so they can sit there to enjoy it and through those butterflies feel close to the daughter they lost.
Another set of parents I know have had experiences with lights, especially a certain lamp in their home going on by itself. This started soon after they lost their son. They feel it is a way for him to connect to them from the new realm he is in. A way to say hello! I am here and okay! It gives them great peace of mind and reassurance that he is okay where he is and is still watching over them.
Many other parents claim to see what is called an orb of light. I round bright ball of light that is sometimes seen around someone before, during or after death. We have pictures taken several months before my son died where there is an orb seen in the picture by him. I was told by a number of parents in my support group they too had looked back at pictures taken of their child who had died and noticed these strange round lights near them.
Many of us experience some kind of unusual occurrence when we are grieving. Often we are embarrassed to talk about these curious events. We wonder if others around us may think us crazy. We are most certainly not though. Many normal average people experience these sorts of things upon losing someone.
For example my son’s greatest trouble with being employed once he was old enough to be, was his loss of freedom. He told me once before he died that he valued his freedom more than he did money. He would rather be poorer and be free to spend his time doing what he wanted with his friends and family than have money to buy an expensive car, etc and lose his freedom by being tied to a job and the material things most people are. Of course as his mom and the voice of logic I explained how you must get a good education and job so you have good insurance and pay for all that may come your way so life is easier for you and your own family should you have one. We had this argument through his three years in college and he frustrated me as he worked hard at school but not also at a job after school. He choose instead to live meagerl,y to keep his prioritized freedom as opposed to working more and having more money for things. Looking back I am glad he choose what he did. Had I known he was going to be murdered I would of chosen the same for him so he could enjoy the time he had with friends and family doing the things he enjoyed to do. Did he know or sense something about his life being short?
As a high school senior he was not happy like I thought he would be about graduating when we talked about it. I remember him telling me he wished he could do another year in high school as he liked things as they were and knew his freedom would lesson upon going into college and beyond. Again looking back did he sense something I wonder about what was to come? He flat out told me several times in his life he did not think he was going to grow old. Just a feeling he said. Other parents who have lost children have told me similar stories about their own kids. Do they sense or have a feeling about their untimely deaths?
The day of his memorial almost two years after he had gone missing and again a week later when we scattered his remains I noticed a golden eagle above me in the sky. In Montana that in itself was not odd. Not only did Josh love the freedom of Eagles but he had an Eagle blanket in his room on his bed. Both of these days every time I looked up outside this golden eagle was overhead. I counted 5 different stops the first day when that eagle was over me and a week later while we were out of town scattering his ashes there was that darn eagle again. When we returned home a second time that day I saw a golden eagle overhead and again later that day 3 more times before the day was over. Ten times in all, five times each day! By the third or fourth time I was saying “Hi Josh, I see you, thanks for being so close to us, it helps since this is so terribly hard to do!” or later when I looked up “Hi Josh, love you too much, too!” Inexplicably I felt each time that it was too often to be coincidence or my wishful thinking. I felt as if I was being touched by either my son Josh, God or both when I needed it most.
There are many who have tried to find explanations for this kind of thing. In science they call it the -Laws of Seriality and Object-Impact Interactions. In physics-Implicate Order and Morphogenic Fields. Many have written about -Synchronicity and those in theology tell of -Grace and a Higher Being.
What I have found is that these mysterious events especially in our early grief are not to be understood so much as to notice them and reflect on them. Noticing something unusual does not mean we are crazy. We don’t always need to be able to understand something to be comforted by it or be surprised by it. My belief is that these occurrences are meant to be respite from dealing daily with loss. Often they stay with us for a long time if not forever. They are gifts sent to us, moments to be honored. Times when we realize that some things are a mystery and that there may be a presence we cannot explain. As for me I have now come face to face with the fact that I can be affected by something even when I do not understand it and it can give me immense and lasting comfort.
Peace & Light,
Certified From Heartbreak to Happiness Coach
“Who then can so softly bind up the wound of another as he who has felt the same wound himself?”