July 23, 2010 in Acceptance, Balance, Career Coaching, Communication, Compassion, Grief, Grounding, Healing, Intuition, Knowledge, Love, Motivation, Perception, Purpose, Rainbow Bridge Coaching and Healing, Spiritual Connection, Thought, Uncategorized, Understanding, Wisdom
Parents who lose a child are often left feeling as if they have survived a catastrophe and are left standing at ground zero with no clue as to where to go or how to begin getting their life back. It is difficult to know what to do from where they are at and on top of it they are left feeling stunned and reeling from the intense feelings of loss and pain. Our society I have found offers little help in this area and the things people tell us such as time heals all wounds and he’s in a better place anger, frustrate, and stir up the anxiety and confusion we already feel. What I was fortunate enough to have found is that there are tools we can use that make a huge difference in how quickly and easily we are able to merge our lives before we lost our child with the life we have now without that child. Although forever changed we can learn to adjust and be happy again. We can each use our own creative and intuitive abilities fine tuned to us to help us find the peace we need. We just need to be taught how and my experience was that with a grief recovery coach I was able to learn not only what these tools are but was coached on how to use them. Some of the help I found came from a book I read called: The Infinite Thread: Healing Relationships Beyond Loss by Alexandra Kennedy. In it she mentions 7 steps for the process of recovery.
- to express all the feelings over this loss: anguish, longing, relief, anger, depression, numbness, despair, aching, guilt, confusion, and often unbearable pain
- to let the nonnegotiable and excruciating reality sink in that you will never again be in the physical presence of your deceased loved one
- to review your relationship from the beginning and to see the positive and negative aspects of the person and the relationship
- to identify and heal your unresolved issues and your regrets
- to explore the changes in your family and other relationships
- to integrate all the changes into a new sense of yourself and to take on healthy new ways of being in the world without this person
- to form a healthy new inner relationship with this person and to find new ways of relating to him or her.
Kennedys book reinforced how it’s important to actively work to integrate and resolve our grief, not to just passively experience our reactions to it. She states that, “Grief carries us until we learn to carry it.” Reading that phrase helped me understand that we do not need to stay victims of grief we can be survivors and even captains of our destiny again if we wish!
Peace & Light,
Certified From Heartbreak to Happiness Coach
“Who then can so softly bind up the wound of another as he who has felt the same wound himself?”