Going With The Flow
August 29, 2010 in Acceptance, Compassion, Grief, Healing, Uncategorized
One of the things I came to realize after losing my 20 year old son was that so much of our energies are used up and so much of our small joys are missed because we resist what is. Our child has been unfairly and unjustly taken away from us and in the blink of an eye our life has changed forever and we do not want that to be. So we resist with our hearts, our minds, all of our being and find it uses up the majority of our life’s focus and energy and to what avail it changes nothing except our moments of joy, which go now unnoticed and our life-force which is mostly drained and leaves us feeling as if we are on autopilot. A mere shell of who we were. I read once that we as parents soon after the loss of our child operate at 85% less of our previous abilities. I would believe it!
What I later learned though is we have a choice in how we will respond to our loss. Going with the flow means not resisting the direction the flow is taking you whether you are there by choice or not. It does not mean we choose it nor that we like it but that we are open to the direction we are being taken and learn to trust that the powers that be or place life is taking us will be OK. It is like being small again and having our lives directed by adults who are there for us. Some of these things work and some don’t work for our individual and unique personalities. But still we live our young lives, and are happy and prosper. This is the attitude Buddha may have meant when he said “It is what it is.” Sometimes things truly are just what they are and the answer to how to cope with that is to simply ride it out and believe things will be ok again, different without your child, but there will be joys again, and beauty, and love and all the things that make life wonderful and worthwhile.
Peace & Light,
Stella Wichman
Certified From Heartbreak to Happiness Coach
www.parentsgriefrecovery.com
“Who then can so softly bind up the wound of another as he who has felt the same wound himself?”
Thomas Jefferson
